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When It’s Okay, to Not Be Okay

three girls comforting each other

I am not ok.

I don’t have it all together.

I need help sometimes.

We have been taught that vulnerability is a sign of weakness — and that showing weakness is a bad thing.   Is it?  Do you think less of a friend that shows up and is honest about what’s really going on?  I’ll bet that instead, you lean in to help.  I know I would. 

I’ve been blessed with four best buds.  They love me, listen to me, and offer me guidance, advice, and insight.  I am vulnerable with them, and I allow myself to let the veil down.  It’s my hope you have that in your life also. 

Where I lack expressing my vulnerability, however, is with my family.  I put on a good show, but for some reason, I don’t want to admit my weaknesses or fears.  And yet, I have read the books – I know that this is what it is necessary to connect.   Intimacy is created by expressing vulnerability. A connection is created by showing vulnerability.  We as humans need to connect and yet we are unable to allow others to see us.  I think our fear is that they would see the truth of who we are.  Most of us are afraid this truth will show we are not enough.  We put on the face of having it all together, and then end up feeling lonely and detached. 

Today, I shared some fears with my husband around an area of my business that I have a lot of anxiety around; I tend to wonder if I’m making the right choices. He was attentive, interested, and offered insights that I had not thought about on my own.  After opening up to him, I felt lighter, and more connected because of having this conversation.   

Vulnerability creates community and connection, because when we admit that we are not enough — or that we don’t have it all together – we give our friends the chance to say, “Me neither!” 

Today, take the chance to say one of the following to a co-worker, friend or family member and see what happens.

I am hurting.

I am sad.

I am scared.

I need help.

I don’t have it all together.

To get support as you walk through your own personal journey, it helps to have a partner.  The role I play with my clients is one of cheerleader, executive coach, productivity consultant – whatever is needed to push them to make the changes they want to make in their lives.  Let’s talk sometime soon about how I can support you as a partner in your journey. 

Live Your Best Life with Virtual Coaching

My virtual course allows you to take advantage of virtual coaching at your own pace to uncover what you want, what you need, and how to go about getting it.  It is powerful and enlightening to discover what’s underneath your fears.  This virtual coaching course will give you a sense of purpose and focus that you may never have experienced before.  

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