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This One is for the Girls

three girls comforting each other

I heard Deborah Tanner speak years ago about the differences in women and men. It was so intriguing to me, that years later I remember most of what she said.  

One of her points was that, as little boys, men play games where the whole team wins – football, baseball, and basketball. Girls play games like teacher/student and mother/child. Girls compete in beauty pageants where only one of them can win.  

It is my belief that when a woman wins the presidency of this nation, we (the girls) will call each other and say 

  • “Did she have a full-length mirror when she bought that dress?”
  • “Who did she sleep with to get that job?” or 
  • ‘Her poor children, what will they do without a mother?”

You know why? Because she won and that means that we lost.  

Men, on the other hand, look at the new President and think, “wow, I know his college roommate’s sister’s husband – my team won.” Men understand that having the best catcher in the league on your team means that your team is going to win and that means that they all win. They seem to have an easier way of networking in the world. 

Now, I heard Deborah Tanner over 20 years ago, and since then my daughter and yours are playing basketball, volleyball and other sports that are teaching them that having the best player on their team is winning and that her success is related to your success. So maybe our daughters will be better at recognizing other women’s achievements and not be threatened by that.

I am amazed that women don’t appreciate each other. I hate it when I hear women say, “Oh, we work in an office of women, what do you expect?” I cringe when I hear us talk negatively about the woman that got the promotion or got the man, or whatever. WE need to support each other and celebrate each other.  

Women have this capacity for intimacy and friendship, and we need other women to hear us, to understand us, and to tell us when our makeup is the wrong shade. That woman that got the promotion or is the boss is just as insecure and scared as the rest of us. She needs us to ask – how can I help you?

I can only change my little piece of the world. I can change how I react to and how supportive I am of other women and their successes. And, so can you! What will you do differently?  

Start Your Journey with a Women’s Leadership Coach

We know that it’s important to build each other up, but where do we start? What is our first step? If you’re ready to learn how to empower the women in your life, click here to learn more about my Women’s Leadership Roundtable.

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